words words words.

i wont bore anyone with a "year recap" entry thats hella long and self serving &  reflective. 
truth is, it was a hell of a year & a wonderful year. period.

heres whats going on right now: (fuck yeah bullet points!)

pretty nifty.

hey dj friends/ types/ folks that know gearheads:

im looking for a smaller coffin for my turntables & mixer, preferably one thats battle style w/ a 10" mixer space, used would be awesome in good condition. of course, im checking clist & ebay, but looking for something on the cheap (or trade for my larger coffin that dosnt fit my mixer!)& figgered mebbe some friends might use the cash better than a stranger.

being a good girl is so damn fun.

 so friday started with going to see where the wild things are with juju. we caught the 1130am show . despite what so many people say, i lvoed it & i got every damn second of it.  clear as day: i tiotally understood  the relationship issues between the monsters & how it was a direct representation of aspects of max's personality & the major influences in his life. i cried tears, i laughed rediculously hard. it was everything i expected & desired & i will love this movie for a long long time. was it for kids? who the fuck cares. not me. this movie was for me, as far as im concerned, and i fucking adored it. honestly, i havnt gone to pay and see a movie in YEARS that has satisfied me as much as seeing this film.

then i went to work, coz its cool to work friday nights now. nothing good ever happens friday night anayway.

saturday i went to the treasure island fest, totally pumped for the day, i had my positive pants on & was really excited for the weekend! as soon as i hit the parking lot, i was dealing with a big bucket of continued rudeness, friends blowing me off & general d-baggery. i was baffled, but not terribly surprised. :/ then i got to the festival just in time to see the streets, lingered for a moment, had a beer and then got ditched at the porta potties. awesome. moments thereafter was then advised there would be no dinner with skinner, as planned, due to the general exhaustedness of the mike & everyone. UGH, seriously?!? sadly, it showed in thier lackluster performance. as thrilled as i was to be there & see it all, i could tell they couldnt wait to get the fuck off stage. it certianly wasnt the 2.5 hr show they had in sacramento the night before, now, was it?  sigh.. i knew i shoulda gone there instead. oh well.

so off tot he city i go to the reception for p&t's wedding. bummed to find out i would have actually been part of the wedding (it was a private ceremony thing) had a circumstance been different. this news fucking KILLED me inside.  i suppose you can only defend someone so long until its clear they have made an impression & arent in the mode of changing in a more positive direction. 
ANYWAYS, so the reception was wonderful. it felt like a dreamworld where i met everyone i had heard of for the past 5+ years, but never met. family, friends, college buddies, people you never even thought existed, but were held in such high regards & thier lives were so detailed in daily conversation, you indeed knew them as if they were family, and they, in turn, knew all your details as well. it really was magical.

day 2 of the TI fest, i was really interested in only seeing beirut and flaming lips, tho the decemberists (whom ive never really paid attention to) were pretty lovely. the walkmen were coo too. flaming lips came on and just rocked it out in thier own words "as if we were coming back to our old home town since everyone used to think we were from SF anyway". rockin versions of old favorites, crowd singalongs, enough confetti & ballooons shot in your eyeballs to choke a whale, & they performed my fave somng off the new cd, "silver trembling hands". shit yeah. totally forgot to mention P&T showed up shortly after i did & spending the day together romping about was a hoot. even when chris showed up despite our disbelief, the day continued on without a hitch.  oh yeah, unlike saturday, sunday was fucking COLD AS BALLS. i had to purchase a "dont shit on my cooler" sweatshirt to layer under my jacket. shit was chilly.

goodbye,


hello




forever yours, kate.

yeah.

i am moist
he is wonderful
i am laughing
he is toast 
hes too damn slow
shes sugared up
he is gone gone gone
shits still wet
i couldnt be happier.

i can gloat here that i bought a dress for a wedding MONTHS ago and now its totally too big for me, right?
happiness weightloss ftw.

dosnt make your head explode, im not sure what will.

When “The Man” murders his brother, pumps heroin into local orphanages, and floods the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor, Black Dynamite is the one hero willing to fight all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House.

i am reminded more & more that i have made the right choices.
i just wonder why it took me so long.

ive not been able to afford going ot my stylist in a while, and im in dire need of a cut and color.
i was ponderingdoing the color on my own, then going to el cheapo spot & getting done what im after, since its rather simple.. still tho, im going to wait till (possibly) after halloween so i can still rock my hair as zombie kate gosselien.



something like that. just timagine .
btw this is NOT how im getting my hair cut, if that wasnt clear.

hello monday. technical monday.
 alas, such a great weekend all in all.
thurs was a shitt night at work, as always & im pretty set on attempting to get thurs & saturdays off as my days off now. im really not a fan of thursdays anymore. they suck. plus, all the good art openings are on thursday nights & i end up missing them, so f that.
friday started out with suck...had to spend the last minute of money i had on the towering pge bill that was put off for too long - as all the bills had been. just got paid, just got broke. wheee. nevertheless, being broke did not hinder the weekend. friday night was dirtybird & guinea pigging some new treats that were effective & satisfactory. a double teaming of the martin brothers for what seemed like a hundred hours pretty much blew my brains  & ass out & i lost myself on the floor among the rest of the freaks. good stuff.
woke up early and swooped up bd with j in tow, headed to bart & off we went to the lovevolution parade. bd & i were float monitors, giving us free entrance to the party (yay). i got to monitor the last float on the route.  people are really stupid tho.. i wanted a cattle prod & a megaphone. i also wanted to jab my eyes out from all the old man saggy ass & dong i saw. ugh. the party was good times. phone service didnt allow anything coming in or out, calls or texts... so i found nobody & bd & i just palled around partying all day & dancing here n there to the BADNB float, triple crown...icant remember the rest, really.
afterwards, we came back to town, changed & spruced up & went back to the city for the DnB after party w/ pendulum. paul hit the decks about 1130 and rockd it tilll 230? fuck, something like that...it was awesome & made me really sad that the scene in sf is so damn mediocre. virtually every other dj we saw play was just.. lacking, it was really just sub par, but i was glad that they had paul there. jesus, i was glad.
all in all the night was stellar. it was a hell of a long as day & i wished it lasted longer ...and i couldnt have asked for better company to share the time with.

time for passouts.

this mde me lol so much.

Three-thirty in the goddamn morning, my cell phone rang. I ignored that for a time, but when it happened again I began to think that maybe there was an actual emergency. Compared to years past, fewer of my friends routinely drink until closing and then dial my number, so now I take middle-of-the-night cell phone calls more seriously.

When I answered, though, there was just a robo-operator asking me to press 1 if wanted to accept the charges, and then some guy yelling something like IT’S REESE I’M LOCKED UP IN JAIL MAN YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF THIS. Whatever, wrong number. Sucks to be Reese.

All that day, I received collect phone calls from Reese. Always with the same recorded message about accepting the charges, but sometimes the Reese-yelled portion would change, like SOMEONE FUCKED UP DUDE YOU GOTTA HELP or CALL ME BACK I’M IN JAIL WHERE ARE YOU? CALL ME BACK! I was at work, and even with the phone on vibrate it was extremely distracting to have FIFTEEN collect calls from Reese over the course of one day. (I have a “mom” chromosome that prevented me from shutting off the phone entirely.) At one point I considered accepting the charges just to yell at Reese in person, but I kept hoping he would just give up.

After a solid twelve hours of that annoyance/frustration, I was on the train home when my cell phone rang again, with a different area code. This time it was a young-sounding female, and here is our conversation.

Girl: Hello?

Me: Hello?

Girl: Hello?

Me: YES HELLO, WHAT DO YOU WANT.

Girl: Uh, Reese is in jail?

Me [losing my shit, slightly]: Yeah, I’ve heard. I’ve been hearing about it for hours. And listen carefully now: I DON’T CARE. I want him to QUIT CALLING ME. Can you do that? Can you make that happen? Tell him to quit calling me.

Girl: Uh…okay?

Me: Thanks a million.

After I had stabbed the END button with the Quivering Forefinger Of Righteous Anger, I realized that I hadn’t actually conveyed the information that this was a wrong number. Or that I do not know Reese. Um. Oops. I guess I felt like I did know him! After he called me fifteen times with different little details of his tragedy! So now I feel slightly bad that Reese is sitting in jail somewhere thinking that he has no friends, and that the person he so desperately tried to contact is content to let him stay in jail. Sorry buddy! Hope your offense wasn’t too serious! Maybe they will let you look up the number and try again.

—mimi smartypants, tough-love practitioner.

golly gee willickers.

it funny how i finally feel back on track.. sorta.. after so long of feeling dishelved.
packing for the burn is in full swing, my mind is in hyperdrive overload & it feels awesome to feel inspired & stimulated yet again. its no surprise to me that i live for this time of year, year after year.. its so hectic & so fulfilling. but its not drama, its always for the greater good.. to get out there and just let go. to feel alive for the first time in so damn long. to feel the sun on your face ans body, feel that beautiful breeze, gaze upon those majestic mountains that surround the beautiful black rock desert... and feel at home once again.
i will go to this place as long as it exists. like an instinct in my brain, i must return to remember, to reset....to start all over again & rememebr whats important to me, to appreciate all the art, the music, the love, to be in such a  creative hotbed bubbling over with such awesomeness that you cant help but be so humbled by its sheer greatness. simply being allowed to attend such an event is a gift enough in itself.
i never feel as if im giving enough back. nothing feels like it could ever be enough for what its given to me over the years.

life has been strange this past few weeks, ive dealt with some serious family shit this weekend, making me rethink what i know to be true about the inner workings of my mother's mind, and what is the truth. ive got to get to the bottom of it all & talk more about it to someone whos a good listener ...in some way, its very disturbing to  think about.

ive been presented with  amazing new connections with people i never expected to encounter, too...which sets me off on a path of inspiration and motivation, something ive literally been rabid to experience as of late. its nice to be surrounded by those who actually DO rather than just talk about doing... i want to be a do-er too, damn it.

p & t are getting married in a few months, their wedding is private & theyre hosting a nice reception afterwards & arent even registered or accepting gifts. put that  in your hat & smoke it kids.. honestly, THATS the way to get married and be totally unselfish about it...id expect no less from those two, totally stellar individuals. im totally stoked for them and for the wicked party!

thats about it.

its crazy to me shes a year old today.
its also donnie wahlbergs birthday.
its also 3 other of my friends birthdays...

little cheddar was so little when i got her & shes still such a tiny little thing, not like her big ol brother, beef dog.

happy birthday little cheddary princess!

had such a nice week. full of nothing but work work work & a variety of hangings-out with a variety of the lovliest of my co workers. its kind of strange to me its taken me almost a year to actually warm up to everyone, but circumstances change, i spoze. its fun to hang with new people & learn more about them than you can get in the usual banal day to day chit chat work so often produces. everyone seems friendly enough, but you never know if anyone really gives a fuck to what youre telling them, when they ask you how youre doin' and you give them an actual answer or attempt to engage more conversation. granted, im hellza guilty of being the person asking you how youre doin as im walking away from you. certainly not one of my most redeeming qualities, but im aware of it.
anyways, good times, good people. its always been such a rule ive carried to not really mix my business life & my social life, as i had shit tons of friends in LA & elsewhere.. but the social dynamic of TJs really is an amazing thing to me.. curious & enchanting, yet terribly reminicint of high school.
interspursed with this working & drunken social throwdowns/hodowns this week,  ive managed to fix our dryer ( or prevented it from burning the house down someday) do some  garden maintennece, and finally started to get my ass in gear for BM. oh & i randomly got inspired one morning to throw a new compilation mix together, which felt really nice to do after not sharing one in a while.
mm chick fight tonight was pretty sweet & im not gonna babble on about it coz none of you give 2 shits about that, im sure.

i love you man was pretty funny.

i gotta get the 3 rosemary bushes planted in front & the bike primer painted. mebbe tomorrow.

http://tinyurl.com/unicornmix

1. Moan (Trentemoller Remix)    Trentemoller
2. Silver Surfer    Stimming
3. Blow The Whistler (Hookerz & Blow Edit)    Claude Vonstroke Vs Too $hort
4. Triangle Walks (Tiga's 1-2-3-4 Remix)    Fever Ray
5. Hip Hip Chin Chin    Club Des Belugas   
6. Esp    Deee Lite
7. Starstruck    Lady Gaga   
8. D.O.A. (Chase & Status Remix)    Jay-Z
9. Blinded By The Lights (Nero Remix)    The Streets
10. No One Would Riot For Less (Dubtep Mix)    Bright Eyes
11. The Snow (Answers Come In Dreams II)    Coil
12. Fools Gold (Top Won Mix)    The Stone Roses
13. 113 Acid    Computer Controlled
14. Whistle Choon - Original Mix    Bassbin Twins
15. Hair Of The Dog    Cursor Miner
16. Levitate    Spor & Ewun & Evol Intent
17. So Human    Lady Sovereign
18. Close To Fresh    Da Fresh Bootleg Machine
19. Roof Of Your Car    The Streets
20. Hallucinations    The Raveonettes
21. I Do Not Hook Up    The Gaslight Anthem
22. The Dope    The Dandy Warhols
23. Relax    Peaches
24. Love Dont Come Easily    Skream
25. Zero (Animal Collective Remix)    Yeah Yeah Yeahs

so i gave up ont he rest of my europe trip posting.. mostly out of laziness.
ive talked about it so much im really tired of talking about it, anyways.

im finding myself in this period of transition, it feels liek there are strange forces at work, skewing my brians & my hands, pushing me to go in directions ive not been.  its also kind of like im just fucking over being so settled & bored for so long, doing nothing, when i set out to do so much. im ravenous to feel inspired again. to taste the creative juices for whatever direction.

my feet are feeling transient, but my brain tells me to stay & knows running away from a town will never solve that much & sometimes only compounds the problems. besides, i lovemy house & i love oakland. my job dosnt suck that hard, either.

theres a rollercoaster-esque ebb & flow lately of falling into days of depressions & then leveling out again & just being pleased with the day. i guess today is one of those pleasing days, in fact, the last 3 or 4 days have been quite pleasant.

i told p once a while back that ive felt so robotic for years, that im just coasting along in life & feeling blacker & blacker inside & its grown to a point where i dont want to allow the darkness to eat me alive. sometimes it feels that theres no amount of anything to fill the hole. so far whiskey has been a nice contender. chasing fillers feels like a waste of time when the soul needs to feel something more permanent.

burning man prep is happening & making me feel in a daze...as excited as i am, and to bring along my dad for the 3rd time to the playa, im just so waiting for it all to be over with so i can start my year off back to reality, pull up my bootstraps, grab life by the sideburns & make out with it for a few months until i get bored again.