words words words.

 wooo im posting & i dont know why.
new home, new age, new bedspread.
thats about it.

i just dont feel like brooding about much right now.
anytime i post something im happy about it falls to shit, so ill leave it at that.

 : (

lots of :(

all year it was lots of : (
and now, so much more.

 im so genuinely excited suddenly.

jack is accompanying me to the SF santacon & the following weekend i fly to LA to santa it up with jane & my LA family!

i cant wait for my new costume pieces to arrive.. hopefully, in time. so very excited to get jack involved in this stuff, despite his dislike of xmas.. i think he can get with this kind of celebrating.

 some days i cant hold him close enough 
i cant imagine life without him
i love every moment we spend together
and then there are days when there arent enough socks to stuff in his face
so i dont have to hear the stupid shit he says.

i just dont understand how i can love someone so much 
and want to smother them with a pillow at the same time.

this is normal, right?

yayyyyyyy.

<3
mebbe this one wont be as fucked up.

selfish
selfish
selfish
selfish
selfish
selfish
selfish
selfish
selfish
selfish

thats what you are you fucking prick.

god, youre a dumb piece of shit that'll prolly breed.

figgers.

cheers.

some days , i go to bed hoping i never wake up.
some days, i cant believe how awesome the morning is.

im sorry you were handed down like a pair of pants that didnt fit.
i hope you knew how much i loved you.
i never stop thinking about you.
im sorry orange was mean.


do you know how much it sucks
to realize
that you have NO dreams anymore?
no aspirations.
no passion.
and an overwhelming fear that youll ultimately ruin
everything you love & pursue.
this is why im happy to stock beans & pasta all day
and ask if you want to put your milk in a bag.


i wish someone never hurt you so much
so that you have to be so rude to me.
im just trying to be friends.
your being hot as fuck is just an added bonus.


i dont know why im so damn fickle
youre perfect, you meet and beyond exceed all my standards..
im just waiting for someone else.
i wish i was different.
i wish you were too.


i wish you never moved here.
it ruined everything.

hey guys,
-got yellow fever?
-got a shitty girlfriend you cant/ wont shake regardless of how bad she treats you?
-got an awesome girlfriend ?
-just met the "love of your life" 2 weeks before we've met?
chances are im totally in love with you.
congrats.


if i could do it all differently,
i would change every single thing i did wrong starting at age 18.
fuck learning from your mistakes,
some shit is just plain old textbook  fucking up.


pick two?
goddamn, thats the most accurate shit ive seen in years.
i dont even know which two i am.


i cant afford any of this.
 i think of moving back home daily.
id rather kill myself first.

so we ended up going to williamsburg for dinner & a show.
marlow & sons was the restaurant, a tiny little place that was packed & popular with a very limited menu. fortunately, we were seated relatively fast and shared a nice bottle of wine.
unfortunately, the service was shit. we felt completely avoided by the waitress as she spoke with & served several groups seated well after us before we even gave our order....this continued thru the night & was totally reflected in her tip. we got better service from the other servers we had to flag down to remind that we existed. food was good tho, great oysters & french onion soup so scalding i still cant taste much effectively. whee.

the show was at this hole in the wall warehouse loft called grasslands & we arrived just in time to catch Bear In Heaven play. i hope this makes sense. they were a great band but the sound was shit. like, hey, lets pipe our music thru a comforter and crank up the bass kind of shit. but what we could hear, i could tell it was great. gotta find their cd & hear some more. next up was the secret machines. now when they were mentioned as playing earlier, i thought...wait..i know them, wait, no i dont. i was confused. after seeing them play. i know them, i love them & now even more so. i got pics and vid so great im giddy. i was so close i felt as if i was going to get wacked in the face by the bass...seriously, it was inches away from my dome several times.

we left and came back to rians loft where jay was feverishly sewing more clothes for his line's shoot, the place was a flurry of stitches and textiles and i really cant wait to see the finished products. we ordered sammiches at 3am , delivered begrudgingly by the deli. i find it highlarious that in nyc its customary to drive a cab or run a delivery service and have no fukkin clue where anything is, even when people are telling you 5 block directions. i guess thats part of the charm?

today brunch was to happen at 11, now moved to 1. bowling is to follow in the evening followed by an upright citizens brigade show?!?! lets hope!

oh and guess what, i so screwed up the flight.. i thought we were leaving at 7pm and getting home 10ish.. oh no, its 7AM. no rest for the wicked tonight, it seems.

new york has been pretty cool thus far. i have to say in one night here, its already beat my expectations...
the flight on virgin was obscenely perfect. coming from someone who doesnt like flying, it was great. virgin has it right.

navigating around the city is so easy, the trains are wonderful too. met up with rian after we got in and settled, in, i think soho.. ended up going to a spot for food called permanent brunch and burgers. i had the chicken and waffles, which was mediocre at best, but a large succulent breast.. could have been spiced better. the waffle was weak. ended up closing the place out, and then getting many many drinks ont he house with the cute shop boy, stu, who showed us the beauty of the patron/ketel combo and how it tastes like water. coz it does.

i drank the first martini i enjoyed.

went on a wild goose chase for weed (with stu) and then BACK to the closed restaurant for more drinks.. then we skedadled off to second on second for karaoke. somewhere at this point stu disappeared, but we kept singing.. then ended up at the happy ending. more drinks, oy.
got pizza at a spot around the corner with SESAME SEEDS ON THE CRUST. this was wonderful pizza & we brought a whole pie back to the loft for consumption.

rians loft is very cool and has had her buddy jay sewing hella clothing (its fashion week) with a fever the entire time were here...hes been nice & so has everyone else weve come across thus far.

today twill & i went into manhattan and to the MOMA to see the tim burton exhibit. the line was treacherous, but thanks to rian's members card, we were impervious to such hassles & got right in. the exhibit blew me away. so many pages and pieces from tims personal collection. sketches, cells, paintings, photos and artifacts from his movies...so, so much. topiaries & sculptures from beetlejuice & edward scissorhands plus his own creations were int he gardens.

heres some of the best pics i could take w/ my phone...pics were NOT allowed & security was heavily enforcing it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/babybloo/sets/72157623344870363/

i loved the paper from beetlejuice...it made me smile so much.. they had so many of the puppets used in his stop motion films, concept art, the animitronics from charlie & the chocolate factory.. it was just really immense...a wonderful collection & treat.

after that we went to rockafeller center, then 70 stories up to the top of the rock.. the big observation deck...which was sweeeeeeet. got some loot at the nbc store and watched the ice skaters skate. ate a halaal kebab ona pita from a street vendor. it was tasty.

thats all for now, i have no idea what we're in for tonight!